Be Present in the Present

I find that one of the most challenging things about having a chronic illness is simply being sick and not being able to do all the things I want to do.  I know, that sounds like it would be a given, but I’m not talking about feeling well enough to clean my house or take up Tae Bo again, although I do look forward to those things too.  I’m talking about changing the world.

I’m talking about traveling to Third World countries to deliver shoes and build water wells.  I’m talking about going to the Gulf Coast to help build houses for those who are still devastated from Hurricane Katrina.  I’m talking about going to African orphanages to love on children who need a hug.  I want to use my life to serve others.

I want to get to the end of my life, whenever that is, knowing that I didn’t waste my time here on this earth.  Quite simply, I want to change the world and I will not be satisfied until I do.

So for me, dealing with this illness that takes so much of my time, energy, and finances can be frustrating.  There are days when I feel like a bump on a log.  Days when I feel like I haven’t made an impact on anybody.

But, one of the great lessons in this health journey is that I am learning to live in the moment.  I am confident that one day, I will get well.  I will most likely never go back to “normal” living because I will probably always have to take supplements, watch my diet very closely, and get occasional treatments, but I know that at some point this season of heightened medical issues will end.  And when it does, I want to be ready for whatever comes next.

I’m learning that the best preparation for what comes next is in gaining as much from this current season of life as possible.  Just as I don’t want to get to the end of my life and not have made a difference, I don’t want to get to the end of this season and not have learned every possible lesson from every possible moment.

So, I’m trying to stay focused on the here and now.  Yes, I have goals and plans and dreams for the future, but I can’t allow those visions to rob me of the joys and lessons of today.  I want to fully experience each day.  If I am at the tide pools looking at starfish with my daughter and nephew I want to feel the warmth from the sun on my back, smell the salty pungent seaweed, acknowledge the goose bumps on my skin as the cold ocean rushes over my legs, and hear the seagulls as they fly overhead.

In the same way, if I’m sitting in my favorite chair with my blanket listening to music because I am too sick to do anything else I want to notice the rays of sunlight as they stream past my window, and hear the words of the songs playing allowing them to sink into my soul.  I want to taste the flavors of ginger and lemon in my homemade brew.  And honestly, I want to feel what it feels like to be sick so I’m motivated to do all I can to get well.

Choose a Better Life ™ by living in the moment.  Be present in the present.  Don’t focus so much on the future that you miss out on the joys and lessons of today.  We only get one opportunity to live this life milk every moment for all that it can give you.